Henri's Blog

So, kids, it's time to shift paradigms a bit. I am in charge of band-aid ripping, so it falls to me.

Many of you have been wondering how the bowel stent is going. It has definitely helped Henri clear his backlog and start eating better. He hasn't been able to gain weight, though, and in fact he is still losing a little bit. He is down in the 122 lb range -- about 60 lb down from last fall before he got sick. Low weight means he has a high cancer load and the cancer is eating all the nutrients that the rest of his body should be getting, and it also means he is not strong enough right now for chemo. So, without speculating on probabilities, here are some possible future scenarios:

1. Best case scenario. Henri continues to recover from radiation, and the radiation continues to shrink the primary tumor (it takes a couple of months to see the full effect). He feels less tired and eats better and gains weight. He gains enough weight to start intensive chemo again, not with the drugs he was on before (we have pretty much killed all the cells that were receptive to that combo), but with some other drug combo. Tumors shrink and stop spreading, and eventually the remains of the primary tumor can be surgically excised. Henri dies of a head injury from skiing into a tree at age 85.

2. Good case scenario (probably more likely than #1). Henri continues to recover from radiation, and the radiation continues to shrink the primary tumor. He gains a little bit of weight and goes on a less-intensive chemo (like Tarceva + Xeloda). The goal of this combo would be to slow or maybe stop the growth of the tumors. Side effects from Tarceva are mild and tolerable (most people get a bad rash on the face). Henri slowly gains weight and strength and eventually goes on a more intensive chemo.

3. Worst case scenario. Maybe not worst, but bad anyway. Henri cannot gain enough weight and strength to go on chemo, or he tries Tarceva but it is not tolerable, especially considering that it is unlikely to help much. We sign up with hospice and agree not to seek further curative treatment. They bring us equipment and drugs and so on, so that Henri can stay at home and be comfortable for the remainder of his life.

We met with a hospice nurse this week, who was very nice and answered all our questions. If it becomes clear that curative treatments have failed, hospice seems like a very nice service. Apparently we have a good hospice here.

OK, so you may feel a little bit blindsided by this post. If it makes you feel any better, we feel a little blindsided too. We're still trying to work through how we came to be at this point, but of course it doesn't really matter. Maybe in a year or two this story will have a little more shape and make more sense. Right now it's a little bit like a bright light that you can't look directly at.

Henri has been very tired, but he and I appreciate your positive messages.

-jill